London Lidge Has Fallen Down

Brad Lidge was the best closer in baseball and helped lead the Phillies to a World Series Championship in 2008 and now a year later he’s one of the most unreliable closers in baseball and is responsible for the Phillies being a game away from the ultimate defeat.  Lidge is not the only reason why the Phillies may not repeat this fall, but a closer’s job is to get three outs to secure a lead or a tie and Lidge did a great job of getting the first two outs of the 9th inning on Sunday night, but the third and final out proved to be devastating to Phillies fans as they headed to the bottom of the ninth down three runs and destined for defeat. The Phillies are not down 3-1 in the World Series only because of Lidge’s poor performace in Game 4, there are a few other factors including the fact that the Yankees an extremely talented team with incredibly clutch hitters and a strong pithing staff. Charlie Manuel may have wanted to take a chance by starting Cliff Lee on three days rest on Sunday night instead of ” The Farmer” Joe Blanton who gave up four runs in six innings in what was a must win for the Phillies down 2-1 heading into game four. The public is still confused why Manuel has so much faith in Cole Hamels who has had a down season overall and gave up five earned runs in Game three which helped set up the huge hole the Phillies are in right now. Why would Manuel want Hamels starting Game 7 when he hasn’t been a clutch performer all season long? How could Manuel start Blanton over Lee in arguably the most important game of the Series? Did it really matter that Cliff Lee hasn’t pitched on three days rest before? Why didn’t Manuel bring Lidge in the 8th or 9th inning of Game 3 to get his closer some work because he hadn’t pitched in 10 days? The Manager will always take the most heat especially during a World Series but much of the blame must be attributed to the Phillies top hitters who have been silenced throughout the series. Howard, Rollins, and Ibanez  have had awful performances so far and every Philly hormerun has been a solo shot which hasn’t helped either. The Phillies demise in the World Series has been a total team effort, but at the end of the day Lidge and Manuel will take the most heat for their mistakes. The Yankees are definitely the better team in ‘09 and it seems the Phillies are content with their World Series win in 2008…..maybe a little too content.

Not the Same Old Torre

Joe Torre did a phenomenal job in his second season as the Dodgers skipper, but for the second straight year his team was not able to compete against the world champion Phillies. Charlie Manuel and the Phillies deserve most of the credit for disposing of the Dodgers in five games once again this year, for they are an incredibly dominant team with the best lineup in the NL backed up by a strong pitching staff. The Dodgers still do not have an excuse for not being a formidable opponent as they led the NL with 95 wins and swept the Cardinals in the division series.  Though much of the blame could be placed on All-Star closer Jonathan Broxton, who could not secure the final out which would have tied the series at two games a piece, Joe Torre could have made a decision earlier in that game which could have helped secure the much needed victory for his team. In the top of the sixth inning of game four the Dodgers had surged ahead of the Phillies by a score of 4-2. With runners at the corners and two outs Torre decided not to pinch hit for Wolf as he appeared to be satisfied with a two run lead against an incredibly potent Phillies offense. Wolf made the final out in the top of the sixth inning and proceeded to unwravel  in the bottom half as he gave up a run while leaving the game after recording only one out.  Joe Torre did not have the killer instinct during this game and throughout this dissapointing series which is what this young and hungry Dodger team desperately needed.  In the top of the sixth I found myself screaming at the TV (even though I’m not a Dodger fan) when Torre did not use Jim Thome as a pinch hitter for Wolf. This was a perfect situation with runners at the corners to build on a small lead against a ferocious offense, and in my mind there was no better time to bring Jim Thome (the long time Phillies icon) to the plate against his former team. Even if the Phillies decided to pitch around him, it could have extended the inning further, and the drama of that moment could not have been matched. Unfortunately not only was Thome not used in that moment, but he was not used as a pinch hitter at all in Philadelphia.  Joe Torre, with his four World Series Championships and eleven division titles will go down as the one of the greatest managers of all time, but in the NLCS 2009 he did not manage in the moment and though the Dodgers probably would have lost the series anyway, he did not give his team a fighting chance.

Holliday Jeers

Christmas did not come early for Matt Holliday on Thursday afternoon, as the usually sure handed left fielder dropped a line drive with two outs in the ninth inning which would have given the Cardinals home field advantage heading back to St. Louis for games three and four. Instead the Cardinals left L.A. in disbelief as they are only one game away from being eliminated from the 2009 MLB playoffs.  Holliday came over to the Cardinals in a trade in late July and has been arguably the National League’s hottest hitter since he put on a Cardinal uniform and his defense has been stellar as well. The 3-time All-Star and 2007  National Championship Series MVP only committed one lone error in 62 games with the Cardinals and only committed three errors in all of 2008 with Colorado.  Holliday’s error will go down in history along side Mookie Wilson’s dribbler that went through the legs of  Bill Buckner which cost Boston the 1986 World Series and Bartman’s fatal grab that prevented the Cubs from advancing to the World Series in 2003, but the 2009 Dodgers proved once again why they may be a team of destiny. 

The Dodgers led Major League Baseball with 12 walkoff victories and they won five games this year in which they trailed in the ninth inning or later. The fact that they did it once again on Thursday should not come as a surprise to anyone as this is something they have done all season long.  They are a team of destiny because Ronnie Belliard was only 4-17 against the Cardinals star closer Ryan Franklin before he singled in Juan Pierre (who represented the tying run) on a first pitch rope to center field, and Mark Loretta was 0-15  against Franklin before he singled in the winning run, which sent Chavez Ravine into hysterics as the Dodgers pulled off the unthinkable once again. These  are the moments that should be remembered as even more memorable than the Holliday scape goat, because the left fielder’s error only allowed the game to continue and the improbable was still in question. The Dodgers still had to come through in the clutch multiple times to steal the victory away from St. Louis, which is why they are one game away from the National League Championship Series and more proof that maybe, just maybe, Joe Torre’s 2009 Dodgers are destined to make a trip to the World Series.

The Price is Right

The Tampa Bay Rays had the best record in the AL East, and as they celebrate their AL Championship victory over the World Series champs of yesteryear, they still head into their first ever World Series as none other than the underdog. All season long the Rays were the headline because “somehow” they went from worst to first.  ALCS MVP Matt Garza summed it up perfectly at his press conference when he said “people have been doubting us (the Rays) all season long and people kept on saying; ‘you guys will falter in August and September, you guys will falter against Chicago, you guys don’t match up well against Boston in Boston,’ We proved people wrong this entire time and we told each other to keep believing, keep fighting, keep playing the way we’ve played all year.”

Garza in only his first season with the Rays could not have summarized their triumph any better as the Rays solidified their case for the respect they truly deserve. The credit this time around cannot be given to the GM who landed Manny, Sabbathia, or Harden, for a playoff run. This October, the credit goes to the team that created their franchise from nothing only ten years ago, and stuck with their talent, while nurturing the stars of the future with patience and guidance.

There is no doubt that Joe Maddon deserves the coveted Manager of the Year award, and his precision in decision making during game seven of the ALCS only reemphasizes that claim. The way he boosted the confidence of his relief pitchers, who looked as though they had just seen a ghost after the 2nd greatest collapse in post season history, (the first being those lovable losers on the north side of Chicago) is proof that he is the best in the game. Joe Maddon’s decision to turn to Wheeler, Bradford, Howell, and Price for the final two innings, is testament to his brilliance, for his continued faith in his pitching staff, that had been so strong all season long, is the number one reason why the Rays are headed to their first World Series.

Maddon took the word “Panic” out of Tampa as swiftly as the franchise removed “Devil” from their team name. When their rookie all star third baseman Evan Longoria went down with a wrist injury in August the Rays continued to win and never showed signs of panic. When the Rays lost closer Troy Percival to injury before the playoffs, Joe Maddon didn’t have to worry because all season long he prepared his relief pitchers by throwing them into the fire for all important game deciding save situations. So what gave Maddon the audacity to send David Price, the first pick in the ‘07 draft to the mound to decide the fate of the Rays’ season? How did he have such insight to trust in this phenom, fresh from the minors, fresh off his first major league victory in game two, and thrown into his first ever save situation with the World Series on the line? Maddon’s belief in his players and his players’ belief in him are why he didn’t hesitate to call upon “the kid” to close out the defending World Series champs, who thought they were destined for another magical comeback. On this night the Price was right and the Rays shone bright through the clouds of the past as they continue to make history, as their future is now.

The Rays going to the World Series gives hope to other franchises out there, young and old alike, in any sport, that championships don’t have to be bought, and can indeed be attained through patience, belief, perseverance, and strong leadership. The Rays are a team of players who have checked their egos at the door, who don’t gripe about playing time or contract extensions, but instead they are a cohesive unit in pursuit of redefining their name by achieving the ultimate goal. They are the Cinderella story of Major League Baseball and after an awe-inspiring series with Boston, they now await the oh-so-hungry Phillies who bring with them their own dreams of glory. The critics can say what they want about how bad the ratings will be, but the true baseball fan will tune in for what could be one of the most exciting World Series in a long time, a Fall Classic to remember.

Final Four Fever

 

 
UCLA, Kansas, Memphis, and North Carolina: When one hears these names uttered during tournament time, its music to the ears of college basketball fans everywhere. Three of these four schools come from powerhouse conferences and the only team with one loss on the season (Memphis) may very well be cutting down the nets a week from today. All of these teams have one thing in common with one another; they have the best coaches in the game. Ben Howland, Bill Self, John Calipari, and Roy Williams are the best at their profession and this final four will be one for the ages.

Bill Self feels only ten percent of what Roy Williams felt when he took Danny Manning to the final four, only because Kansas had not been on the NCAAB map before Williams took the helm at Kansas. Bill Self inherited the Kansas name which Roy Williams built with his own two hands, but now coach Self has put himself where every coach wants to be come April: In the final four for the first time with his new team. Kansas was a 1 seed entering the tournament, and the critics hollered that Self wouldn’t get passed the Elite 8 which has been the norm for his teams leading up to Sunday’s nail-biter against Curry and the Davidson Cinderella men. Self said that he felt this was the most prepared squad he’s ever coached and even remarked before the tournament began that his team would definitely advance (finally) to the Final Four.

Ben Howland knows a little something about advancing to the Final Four as he has done so with UCLA for three seasons in a row. Howland has single handedly revived the Wizardry of Westwood and when he’s all set and done coaching the Bruins, his name could be mentioned in the same breath as Wooden, Rupp, Dean Smith, Bob Knight, and Coach K. He may very well be better than some of the aforementioned because of his commitment to defense. It’s a joy to watch how he maximizes on the strengths of each of his players with a focus on his precise evaluation of talent i.e. freshman sensation Kevin Love. Love is the best freshman power forward in the game and may very well be the top center in college basketball right now, because he can also hit the three-ball consistently.

The Final Four match up between UCLA and Memphis may go down as one of the greatest games in NCAA history and it’s just unfortunate that only one of these coaches will advance to the Championship game next Monday night. Who wouldn’t pay to see a best of seven series between Memphis and UCLA? But they will do their very best to fit in the same drama of a seven gamer in forty minutes of gut-wrenching, jaw-breaking, hard-nosed and at the same time silky smooth basketball which may jar memories free of the days of Maravich, Lew Alcindor, Walton, Jordan, Laettner, Isaiah, The Fav 5 (Not a funny Barkley and D-Wade T-Mobile commercial), just to name a few. The legends of the game will be watching in awe this coming weekend as the Nation’s best are put to the ultimate test.

It’s too bad Ben Howland’s Bruins who have won fourteen straight games must face the Memphis Tigers, a team that could probably take it to the Memphis Grizzlies and win by ten or twelve. After seeing The Tigers steam roll through this tournament, one may second guess the overall number one seed, considering Memphis only lost one game this season and that was at Tennessee. They are bigger than you, stronger than you, and better than you. That was how it felt watching them destroy Texas in the Elite 8. We may very well witness a Memphis vs. UNC championship game which would be the icing on the cake for Calapari’s greatest success since Marcus Camby destroyed his opponents at UMASS. Memphis may have kept DJ Augustine at Texas for another season and freshman sensation Derrick Rose may go top five in the draft with Chris Douglas-Roberts not far behind. Calapari’s composure and confidence has set the tone for his team who play with those exact same emotions which makes their opponents feel like saying “I want what they have” and that thought comes well before the coach’s pep talk after being down by double figures at halftime. Memphis and UCLA will exchange blows and it should shape up as the best game of the decade, a game that will be talked about for years to come.

Most people think that UNC will be too much for Kansas to handle and if the great Roy Williams can coach through the excitement and torment of coaching against his former team, then UNC might have a shot at making history next Monday night. Roy Williams is already there at the top of the list and his place in NCAA history can only get richer as his team has lived up to the hype and find themselves exactly where experts predicted they would be in the pre-season. Tyler Hansborough quieted his critics (if there are any still left out there!) by silencing Rick Pitino and a Padgett brother (you might remember his brother, former choke artist for ironically Roy Williams’ Jayhawks Scott Padgett) as Williams taught Pitino a lesson in Defense and that the only way to get to the Final Four is by having a solid point guard which Pitino did not have this time around. So Hansborough broke Padgett’s knee caps (though the fact that Padgett came back from a broken knee cap in six weeks time this season makes him a warrior) and now Roy Williams chases his predecessor while playing his successor in what should be a great affair, though Brandon Rush must bring his sweet jumper for the entire game if Kansas wants to pull off the upset.

The excitement of the Final Four is contagious and even though your team got bounced early on or never even made it to the big dance; one can’t help but tune in for the fight to the finish. It’s just too bad I will miss the championship game next Monday night because once you book with Orbitz or Cheap tickets you then must pay an arm and a leg to adjust the itinerary that was accidentally booked for the entire duration of the championship game. The only lessons that can be derived from this debacle is 1) never book a flight during the NCAAB championship game and 2) its about time to invest in DVR!

Down With the East

There has been a lot of conversation as of late about how the NBA Eastern Conference is absolutely awful, and now that Gasol is a Laker and Kidd is a Maverick (again!) it is safe to say that besides Boston, Detroit, and sometimes Orlando, the east should not be represented by eight teams in these upcoming playoffs. I never thought I would say this but the NBA should just take the top sixteen teams and seed them accordingly weening out the terrible teams that don’t have a chance against the high powered west. It is such a shame that April and May nights will be wasted on watching Orlando vs Washington or New Jersey vs Toronto. It is so sad that Denver with AI and Melo are on the outside looking in at the playoff picture when if they were in the East they would be sitting comfortably in fourth place with third place Orlando in their sights.

No one has been saying that there is too much competition in the West, but maybe just maybe that is the case. Spread the wealth you guys, or are the ownership in the east just too cheap beyond belief? The Knicks need to fire Isaiah Thomas just as bad as the Atlanta Hawks want to make the playoffs for the first time in eight years. Just as Isaiah doesn’t deserve to be an executive on any level in the NBA anymore, the Hawks don’t deserve to get in over Denver, Golden State, or Portland. The Hawks are an abysmal 24-33 which is not close to a being at or over a five hundred winning percentage and yet they are only one game behind Eastern Conference “powerhouse” New Jersey.

A Chicago land local sports historian Henry Bernstein once remarked that for the NBA Playoffs this year all Eastern Conference first round games should be a best out of five series instead of seven. “Therefore we wouldn’t have to suffer through the pain of watching pathetic east coast playoff games as much as in the past!” Though a bit unrealistic, Henry has a novel idea and this could only happen if David Stern had not already collected on the TV rights for this summer’s playoffs games. Its all about the Benjamin’s and I don’t mean long time NBA vet Benoit Benjamin who played for nine teams in fifteen seasons!

I see my light come shining from the West down to the sewer which is the NBA Eastern Conference.

Any day now, any day now, the NBA will do away with the current playoff structure and institute a more polished one. A Playoffs which seed the teams in order of their success on the basketball court. It could include the same amount of sixteen teams, or experiment with an eighteen team playoffs…why the heck not? This new structure would look more like a Sweet Sixteen in the NCAA Tourney, but with a seven game series where fans would want to watch the entire playoffs (where all games would be televised on TNT), even if it does go into the middle of June.

It is time to make some changes in the NBA and I’m not talking solely about taking Super Man’s (Dwight Howard’s) advice by raising the rim to twelve feet. The fans are demanding to see the best teams compete, but with the state of the decrepit Eastern Conference, thousands of fans out west will not be tuning in to the NBA come late April. Instead, their teams and ownership who made the commitment to winning, will be denied the chance once again to compete won the world’s greatest stage.

“The Big Aristotle?”

The only question on the mind of the die hard NBA fan after the Suns trade with Miami was “What was Steve Kerr Thinking!?” Seriously, all those Shaq Believers out there need to wake up and come to the realization that Shaq’s past his prime and is not a defensive force in the league. He’s slow, out of shape, and was injured when the trade went through, which only has everyone scratching their heads in confusion that much more . The Suns did not get any where near what they should have for perennial All-Star and fantasy guru, self proclaimed ” The Matrix”, Shawn Marion. Sure, Marion may be the most un-clutch performer in the history of the game, but he consistently fills the stat sheet with a double double and a smattering of steals, blocks, and break away dunks which ignite the crowd. As Marion teams up with superstar Dwayne Wade, the bottom of the barrel Miami Heat stays in the hunt for a game changing lottery pick like Tyler Hansborough or Roy Hibbert.

Shaq is not runnin’ the diesel anymore, he’s runnin’ on empty. Even if Shaq does manage to score 14 points and 7 rebounds a game in the games that he does play, it still doesn’t make up for the fast break points they are giving up. Shaq cannot run the floor at the Phoenix Suns up tempo pace and is a below average defender, that isn’t an effective shot blocker anymore.

So why did Steve Kerr take this gamble in the first place you ask?

He probably made this trade because the key moments of every championship series always comes down to an effective half court offense. The Suns were an amazing run-and-gun team with Marion, but now Shaq will draw two defenders in the post, leaving Amare Stoudamire a more direct path to posterizing the nearest chump that happens to be in the vicinity. It is also well known that Stoudamire and Marion were never the best of friends, and as their egos clashed in the desert wind, Kerr felt the heat of a rising sun and sent this lengthy snowbird packing to another winter hot spot, an NBA city furthest away from the 602.

The Suns have two wins and three losses since the trade and though the verdict is still out, Suns fans must hope that Steve Kerr didn’t just do his best John Paxson impression, and that he knows something we don’t know about Shaq’s bout with father time. If Steve Kerr was right in making this trade and the Suns end up hanging a banner or two in the next couple of years, then Shaq might need to hold a press conference proclaiming Kerr as the “The Little Aristotle.”

Until then, Suns fans must hope and pray that there is no sequel to Kazaam this Summer as the NBA braces itself for the most competitive Western Conference playoffs the world has never seen.

Sampson Who?

February 23, 2008

On Friday Indiana head coach Kelvin Sampson resigned as the University’s head basketball coach and even though he violated five NCAA rules and had indeed lied to NCAA investigators, the future of Indiana Basketball remains in tact….for the moment. As embarrassing as this is for this storied program, it seems that the university may come out ultimately unscathed following this incident. Athletic director Greenspan has disposed of the problems and also took a scholarship away from next year’s team. The NCAA may add insult to injury, but Indiana will be tournament eligible for years to come. Coach Sampson participated in these violations for over five years at Oklahoma and two years later under the leadership of Jeff Capel, they are back as leaders of the Big 12. Coach Sampson will have to take this time to do some true soul searching and introspection. He is the epitome of a true player’s coach whom kids gravitate to with all emotions hanging on their sleeves as their teacher has done so well over the years. Emotion is a remarkable aspect of athletics, but in college basketball where the concept of team game still exists, it is the backbone which a team must have to succeed.

There may be some worry that with Sampson’s departure, the Hoosiers’ energy and sense of purpose may be on the way out, but this is not the case. Last night in Evanston Illinois, IU got a scare from the feisty Wildcats who fought ferociously for their first Big Ten victory and could smell the blood of an upset by taking advantage of the wounded Hoosiers. DJ White however, would not let IU lose and he is indeed the super glue that holds this powerhouse together. For the remaining four regular season games, Big Ten Tourney, and the greatest show on earth, the success of the Hoosiers rests in the hands of player of the year candidate, a guy who is all heart and who isn’t afraid to scream and yell to wake up his teammates, the one and only DJ White.

Indiana is an extremely talented team and their new coach Dan Dakich is no slouch either. He is a proven winner who is finally getting his shot at the premiere stage. Many questions still remain unanswered for the immediate future of a college basketball program that has done no wrong since 1960, but for now they must take things one game at a time as this roller coaster season continues.

Happy Birthday Joe Smith?

January 3, 2008 Chicago, IL

 

Tonight was a very special night to be at the United Center in Chicago. The Portland Trailblazers came to the Second City and looked like a team with vision, a mission, and with the help of budding star Brandon Roy, they looked like a team that has found their true identity and maybe, just maybe it is all in their name. As I sat amongst brothers ten rows behind the Bulls bench, I witnessed a game which was one for the ages. Two teams on a mission to prove their worth to the league, unfortunately for the Bulls, it was the road team that managed to escape with the W.

 

From the moment the the Bulls controlled the tip off, my voice could be heard ten rows in front of me and then some in back of me.  Many fans chose to suppress their emotions during the game, I on the other hand don’t have a voice left, because I left it in the stands. I started out by getting on Ben Wallace’s case for leaving a finger-roll short when he could have thrown it down the way Big Ben use to know how. The second half began and the Bulls were up by twelve, early on the Bulls controlled every aspect of the game, but then I noticed that Luol Deng wasn’t in the game. Not only was he on the bench, but he was sitting on an elevated chair that did not resemble any of the seats that his teammates were sitting on. So Deng stuck out like a sore thumb and when the Bulls blew the twelve point lead in the middle of the third I started to talk to Deng too. “Hey Luol, We need you man! Adrian Griffin needs a break, he’s never been in the game for so long! That Chair your sittin’ on kind of looks like a throne, but the Kings are comin to town on Saturday night!” Deng heard me and looked a bit embarrassed, but definitely didn’t feel like talking so he just sat there and stared at the court. He never reentered the game after the first half, but that detail was quickly forgotten as the Bulls fought hard and gave the crowd a game for the ages, even without pulling it out in the end.

 

Late in the third and early in the fourth quarter my attention turned to talking ever so calmly to the referees who had called the game. One could hear me shouting “What are you lookin’ at number fourteen, it wasn’t even your call to make! Hey number fourteen, how much you got on this game anyway!?”

 

Fourty two minutes and fifty seconds of the game belonged to one player. This Bulls PF misplaced $100,000 worth of jewelry in a hotel room (January 15^th 2007) and portrayed Connie Hawkins in the movie “Rebound” which are random facts most people don’t know……on this night Joe Smith lived up to being the #1 draft pick almost thirteen years ago and just needed one layup or monster slam to set the Bulls up for a victory. Instead Smith layed the ball up soft and the ball didn’t go in. Later at the foul line all everyone in the crowd thought out loud and to themselves was “Why the F*** didn’t he dunk the ball?” Was it because 1995 was more than a decade ago and he doesn’t have enough stamina to play much more than his average of twenty-one minutes a game? So, yes Joe Smith might have been fatigued during his 45^th minute of playing time, and even though scored thirty one points and grabbed eleven rebounds for the first time since February of 2005 (which he did by the way in just twenty eight minutes of game action) he needed to make a dunk and consecutive free throws and he just couldn’t do it. The stigma of never living up to number one draft pick expectations got the best of him on this night, and the Joe Smith is an under achieving head case, may indeed define his post College Park MD career.

 

“Can’t Go on, Must Go On, Can’t Go On, Must Go On” – Larry David Curb Your Enthusiasm

 

This statement best describes our Bulls power forward Joe Smith, because life will go on and Joe Smith will live another day in the NBA. And yes, he will do some great things once in a while, but he will never be the go-to-guy at the end of a game, especially when he plays twenty five minutes longer then he usually does!

 

The Last time Joe Smith scored thirty points in a game he did so against Allen Iverson and the Sixers. Joe was then traded to the Nuggets and then was traded in the sixers deal that sent AI to Melo in Denver. Has the waundering power forward finally found his niche as a Bull? Well, for forty four minutes in a thrilling double overtime game, with his silky smooth jumper, Smith was transformed into the Mail Man, and at the same time he was as aggressive on the court as Ben Wallace use to be. Yet because he has never sealed the deal in the past, he couldn’t muster up the charisma to become great. Only the Greats come to play at the United Center, and if you don’t believe that you’re the best player on the court then that heart wrenching free throw that you’ve over analyzed in your backyard since you were seven will never go down.

 

One cannot blame Joe Smith for this loss, or the horrible referees that continue to pollute the game. Instead we must ask why my voice could be heard from such far away places in the United Center? Where were the thousands of fans sitting in the lower 100 levels during the third and fourth quarters? Why couldn’t the majority of the oh so privileged fans (sitting in the lower levels) forget about their appearance and remember the success of the Bulls of the past? The fans keep a home team’s spirits alive and the five of us did our job, but who in their right mind would leave an NBA game early when the score is 88-86 with 2:48 on the clock? More than 50 people left the United Center early and all of these imbeciles did so to beat the traffic!

 

Its been a bumpy ride for the Bulls so far this season, but not only did I lose my voice, and was caught dancing like a maniac on the jumbo screen for more than A minute during a TNT tv timeout, but I got confirmation from Officer Edward Mann of Customs Border Protection in San Luis, Arizona that indeed Henry Bernstein’s mug with a handmade poster that read “Chuck, Its my B-day! Will you be in my 5?” actually got on TNT during the halftime show. Chuck was unfortunately still in the bathroom when the clip of Henry and friends was aired.

 

Though the Bulls didn’t win, a birthday wish came true, I got on the Jumbo tron at my first ever Bulls game at United Center and got on the NBA on TNT in the same night!

 

I only wish Ernie, Kenny, and Chuck (and sometimes Magic) saw my best robot gone Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton Banks) impression from the fourth quarter. I guarantee you they would be making fun of me for weeks with replay after replay of the stupid white suburbanite jew-face who is a cross between Tamir Goodman and Carrot Top. Don’t you love that Carrot Top? He is just so god darn funny!

 

 

So Joe, when you’ve got the roadsideblues from never being the player everyone thought you might have been, just sit back on a Thursday night and watch Ernie, Chuck, and Kenny (and Sometimes Magic). If they don’t make you laugh at all, then you ought to seek help from a psychologist and begin the process of forgiving Kevin Mchale and Kevin Garnett for taking your soul away from you in Minnesota.

 

Tonight I’m on official business of Homeland Security inYuma AZ, and as I say goodnight to this city near the Mexican border, may God bless Officer Edward Mann, the only person who has confirmed seeing us on the NBA on TNT.

 

 

January 3rd: Events to Remember

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  Events

• 1431 – Joan of Arc is handed over to the Bishop Pierre Cauchon.
• 1496 – Leonardo da Vinci unsuccessfully tests a flying machine.
• 1521 – Pope Leo X excommunicates Martin Luther in the papal bull Decet Romanum Pontificem.
• 1749 – Benning Wentworth issues the first of the New Hampshire Grants, leading to the establishment of Vermont.
• 1777 – American general George Washington defeats British general Charles Cornwallis at the Battle of Princeton.
• 1815 – Austria, the United Kingdom, and France form a secret defensive alliance treaty against Prussia and Russia.
• 1823 – Stephen F. Austin receives a grant of land in Texas from the government of Mexico.
• 1825 – Rensselaer School, the first engineering college in the United States is opened in Troy, New York. It is now known as Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.
• 1833 – The United Kingdom seizes control of the Falkland Islands in the South Atlantic.
• 1834 – The government of Mexico imprisons Stephen F. Austin in Mexico City.
• 1848 – Joseph Jenkins Roberts is sworn in as the first president of the independent African Republic of Liberia.
• 1861 – American Civil War: Delaware votes not to secede from the United States.
• 1868 – Meiji Restoration in Japan: The Tokugawa shogunate is abolished; agents of Satsuma and Chōshū seize power.
• 1870 – The construction of the Brooklyn Bridge begins.
• 1871 – Henry W. Bradley patents oleomargarine.
• 1888 – The refracting telescope at the Lick Observatory, measuring 91 cm in diameter, is used for the first time. It was the largest telescope in the world at the time.
• 1888 – Marvin C. Stone patents the drinking straw.
• 1899 – The first known use of the word automobile, was seen in an editorial in The New York Times.
• 1921 – Turkey makes peace with Armenia.
• 1924 – English explorer Howard Carter discovers the sarcophagus of Tutankhamen in the Valley of the Kings, near Luxor, Egypt.
• 1925 – Benito Mussolini announces he is taking dictatorial powers over Italy.
• 1932 – Martial law is declared in Honduras to stop revolt by banana workers fired by United Fruit.
• 1933 – Minnie D. Craig becomes the first woman to be elected Speaker of a legislative body in the United States.
• 1938 – The March of Dimes is established by President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
• 1938 – Woman in White is first broadcast on the NBC Red network. The program remained on the radio for the next ten years.
• 1944 – World War II: Top Ace Major Greg “Pappy” Boyington is shot down in his Corsair by Captain Masajiro Kawato flying a Zero.
• 1945 – Admiral Chester W Nimitz is placed in command of all U.S. Naval forces in preparation for planned assaults against Iwo Jima, Okinawa and Japan.
• 1947 – Proceedings of the U.S. Congress are televised for the first time.
• 1951 – Dragnet is first broadcast on NBC-TV.
• 1953 – Frances Bolton and her son, Oliver from Ohio, become the first mother and son to serve simultaneously in the U.S. Congress.
• 1957 – The Hamilton Watch Company introduces the first electric watch.
• 1958 – The West Indies Federation is formed.
• 1959 – Alaska is admitted as the 49th U.S. State.
• 1961 – The United States severs diplomatic relations with Cuba.
• 1961 – The SL-1, a government-run reactor near Idaho Falls, Idaho, leaks radiation, killing three workers.
• 1962 – Pope John XXIII excommunicates Fidel Castro.
• 1973 – George Steinbrenner buys the New York Yankees from CBS for 3.2 million dollars.
• 1977 – Apple Computer is incorporated.
• 1979- Avi Slepak Taff is Born in Los Angeles, CA.
• 1982- Henry Jacob Bernstein is born in Hyde Park, IL
• 1983 – CiTV launches on ITV in the UK.
• 1987 – Aretha Franklin becomes the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
• 1988 – Margaret Thatcher becomes the longest-serving British Prime Minister in the 20th Century.
• 1990 – Former leader of Panama Manuel Noriega surrenders to American forces.
• 1993 – In Moscow, George H. W. Bush and Boris Yeltsin sign the second Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty (START).
• 1994 – An Aeroflot Tupolev TU-154 crashes and explodes after takeoff from Irkutsk, Russia, killing 125 people including one on the ground.
• 1997 – The People’s Republic of China announces it will spend $27.7 billion USD to fight erosion and pollution in the Yangtze and Yellow river valleys.
• 1999 – The Mars Polar Lander was launched.
• 1999 – Israel detains, and later expels, 14 members of Concerned Christians.
• 2004 – Flight 604, a Boeing 737 owned by Flash Airlines, an Egyptian airliner, plunges into the Red Sea, killing all 148 people on board.
• 2007 – National Express has its worst ever coach crash just outside Heathrow Airport.

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